Coping with an eating disorder during the coronavirus pandemic

Imagine walking into a shop, looking around at the empty shelves and seeing nothing there…The eating disorder is cheering you on: ‘Phew! A good excuse not to have anything.’ It’s telling you that your safe foods aren’t there, convincing you that you can’t have anything to eat now, at least until later this week when you will return to the shops.

Imagine sitting at your kitchen table, with your child who is in recovery. You serve up a meal. “I can’t have that; it’s got too much in it. I won’t have it - it isn’t on the meal plan.”

Imagine walking into a supermarket, people rushing around everywhere, grabbing things from the shelves. You get to a shelf where normally your safe foods are and you freeze. You stand there for what feels like an eternity, your eyes darting around, sweat dripping down your back, your palms clamming up. Where is the tin you normally get? What are you going to do? You know you have to keep eating but you aren’t sure if you can.

Imagine getting home from the shop having panicked and stockpiled. The food beckoning you in, asking you to eat it, convincing you to have more and more. ‘If you have this, it will make you feel okay,’ it tells you.

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You might read these scenarios and think they’re ridiculous, but these are real-life problems that millions across the world are facing right now. People with eating disorders are currently dealing with an added complication to the coronavirus (COVID-19) that so many haven’t even thought of. With many people stockpiling, yes it is affecting elderly or vulnerable people, but it is also effecting people with serious mental illnesses as they face this uncertainty about whether they can access their safe foods and stay well.

The added issue is that people with eating disorders are still massively misunderstood and there is a huge amount of stigma that so many face. It means that for so many of us going through this we feel ashamed to mention this. We are embarrassed to share these fears about food, routine or exercise because we don’t want to be called self-centred or selfish.

Despite being 11 years into my recovery, I am fearful of what is coming and whether it will create cracks in my recovery. Will I be able to exercise at all? Will I be able to get the food I like or will it just be my unsafe food left on the shelf? On top of this are feelings of guilt for feeling this way when in many ways I am lucky - I have a family, friends, a flat…

Firstly, please know that none of us should feel ashamed for what we feel. You are not alone in these feelings! I have had hundreds of people already contact me with their concerns around food, stockpiling and self-isolation. 

Please remember that just because you may be self-isolating, your body still needs to eat.