Tips for coping with an eating disorder at Christmas

2020 will be my second Christmas since I began recovery for anorexia nervosa in December last year. While I, along with many of my friends and family, am excited for Christmas, I also find myself growing increasingly anxious as the day nears. I know that many others struggling with an eating disorder may be feeling the same, but I want to reassure you that this is perfectly normal leading up to an event so often focused on food and drink.

- Caitlin, 16

Coping with an eating disorder can be so hard but it can be made even more difficult during the festive period. With a large focus around food, it can be hard work to try and level your thoughts around this topic. You may feel overwhelmed, angry, upset, or anxious and all of these feelings are more than valid! You are the most important person in your recovery, and you should never feel like you have to hide your emotions. Please speak to someone if you feel like you need some support.

- Amy, 18

There is a social aspect of eating that affects those with an eating disorder. I haven’t been able to eat with other people at the dinner table since last Christmas, because eating in front of people, without distraction, is incredibly stressful. Normally, I find that watching the television while eating distracts me from the task, but this isn’t possible on Christmas, is it? There is a social obligation. Sitting around the table with loved ones is part of it. Eating food is part of it. When you have an eating disorder, this causes a lot of anxiety, but we may feel like we can’t let these feelings show because it’s Christmas!

Well to this unhelpful expectation I say: we will not let you win!

- Aimee, 22

• Communicate. The thing that helped me most last year was planning my Christmas day meal beforehand. Speak to someone you trust and know will support you such as a parent or carer and agree on things before, such as them plating up food for you or what you will do in terms of snacks. It can also help to sit next to them during the meal so they can comfort and encourage you. Furthermore, if you feel comfortable to do so, speak to others that you will spend Christmas day with about conversation you may find triggering or upsetting. If you are anxious about them commenting on your appearance, your portions, or food in general, it may be a good idea for you or someone else to make them aware of this. (Caitlin)
• Use distraction. If you are struggling to cope with your feelings, try doing something to distract yourself. I like using sensory toys. If you find a particular texture, scent or visual that you like then it may be helpful to use these when you are feeling distressed or down. I also find that doing activities that involve my hands are very helpful as I tend to be very focused on what I am doing (e.g. knitting, sewing, colouring, playing an instrument) (Amy)
• Focus on the things you like about Christmas. Distraction is one of the best tools when struggling with your eating disorder thoughts around Christmas. Have activities ready that will help divert your attention, such as a reading, listening to music, drawing or whatever else you enjoy - especially straight after eating. Additionally, if big meals are causing you stress, try to plan activities not based around food. For example, decorating the house, singing carols or playing board games with family. I also believe that it’s best to try to not ruminate on the day beforehand, as it can build up even more fear and anxiety. (Caitlin)