a girl with a hand on her chin looking downwards not paying attention to her friends chatting and sitting beside her in the living room

Tips for coping with social anxiety

  • 3 min read
  • 22 October 2018

Author: Molly

Speak to someone

Everyone will tell you this one and it probably is the most obvious, but speak to someone about how you are feeling. This can be done in a few ways; you could speak to a family member, a friend you trust or a member of staff you feel comfortable with. If you find speaking face to face difficult, you could try calling one of the many helplines that are available.  

You could speak to a family member, a friend you trust or a member of staff you feel comfortable with.

Write a letter

If you’re not ready to speak to someone yet, write a letter to yourself explaining how you’re feeling and why. Be as open and truthful with yourself as you can be. Then, a few days later, you could read it back to yourself and imagine that someone else wrote it and think about how you would help them. This really helped me and although it sounds a little odd, it's 100% worth a try!

Write a letter to yourself explaining how you’re feeling and why.

Smile at people when you walk past each other

I used to find this tough and I sometimes still do, but it makes me feel happy when I smile at someone and they smile back at me. Small acts of kindness can really help boost your day!

It makes me feel happy when I smile at someone and they smile back at me.

Understand that how you’re feeling is normal and you are not alone

Although it goes unspoken, so many people around you have or are experiencing social anxiety. Just because you cannot see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. I found that once I opened up to a couple of people about it at school, they could relate to what I was saying, which made me feel more comfortable and relaxed.

Just because you cannot see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

Find something to focus on

This could be a hobby or an interest that you are really passionate about. Finding something else to focus on gave me something to look forward to when I got home from school or at the weekend. It made my day easier and even if I felt incredibly uncomfortable at school, I knew that there was something good happening later. In some ways this motivated me to work and I occasionally relaxed because I knew I would be ok later on.

Even if I felt incredibly uncomfortable at school, I knew that there was something good happening later.

Trust yourself!

You’re the only one who knows you like you do. When you’re at the peak of social anxiety, listen to the positive voice inside your head because somewhere there is one even if you aren’t listening to it. Try not to overthink or listen to negative thoughts, which could lead to panic or possible physical symptoms. Listen to that positive voice, breathe, remain calm and you will be proud of yourself afterwards!

Try not to overthink or listen to negative thoughts.

Find help

If you're struggling with panic attacks or anxiety, have a look at our guide to anxiety for information and advice on ways to get help.

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